Millennials are having a hard time “growing up,” an expert gives 20 somethings hope and advice
Millennials are having a hard time turning from special snowflakes into adults. A new viral piece has been making the rounds, and is causing controversy
It’s become this weird cultural phenomenon where, because many of us don’t cross the traditional markers of “adulthood” in our 20s, it’s somehow cool to flail in the other direction while our belt-less pants fall down around our ankles. I know I definitely used to feel this way, which is part of why I started TFD all that time ago, because I would jokingly make comments to friends about how I had enough money to retire if I died at the end of the month, or how I was “incapable” of following recipes so I accepted that most of my baked goods would go directly into the trash. I turned my most self-defeating patterns into jokes, because that felt easier than actually dealing with them, and besides, who gave a shit? My parents were married, homeowning parents by 27, and clearly none of that stuff was in the cards for me on that timetable, so I could just continue to be an Amy Schumer character until at least my early 30s.
And what did I think would happen then? Did I think I was just going to wake up one morning and suddenly take everything really seriously? Was there going to be a day where I popped up, naturally, at 6:30 AM, had a light breakfast in my well-appointed and sparkling-clean kitchen, then hit my reasonably-priced gym for a morning workout to invigorate me for a day at my job (which I was passionate about but which did not dominate my life)? I think honestly, on some level, I thought that way.
I think I imagined there was just this Adult Pixie Dust (it maybe looked like glitter in some tasteful, neutral color palette), that was sprinkled over you in your sleep some time in your late 20s/early 30s, that magically changed everything and taught you how to do things like negotiate a salary or wear heels on city streets without destroying them on subway grates. The point is, I thought these things would just manifest in Future Chelsea, and Present Chelsea did not have to deal with it, and could keep getting day-tipsy at expensive brunches and wander around Duane Reade wobbily looking for q-tips for 30 minutes.
This is ridiculous, and frankly offensive to ourselves, and is in many ways my least favorite part of ~social media culture~. It’s considered adorable and relatable to talk about how “Whoops just spent the rest of my paycheck on a bottle of champagne and pizza, which I’m eating in the dark because I can’t change a lightbulb, while watching a Netflix show on an account I share with seven people, which I have turned up all the way because my smoke alarm has been beeping for the last three months.” Frankly, without at least a sprinkling of embarrassed self-awareness, that kind of talk should be considered vaguely worrisome, not a rallying cry to be like ‘SAME SLORE I LIVE LIKE AN AMISH PERSON THE FIRST WEEK OF EVERY MONTH BECAUSE I FORGET TO PAY MY ELECTRICITY BILL.’